Who's Your Daddy?!?

In 1977 everyone around me was talking about the television mini series "Roots".   Roots inspired one of the two 6th grade classes in my elementary school to teach on the very subject and gave the assignment of researching your roots to compile your own family tree - I thanked God that I was not in that particular class.

You see this was not a welcomed topic of conversation in my mama's house.  When I would inquire who my father was and would ask what he was like, my mother's disposition would harden and she would spout off, "You are the bastard of James Kinum." 

Please don't judge my mama harshly as she carried a lot of hurt, pain and was none-too proud of her past.  I have come to understand that this was her coping mechanism and have forgiven her long ago.

The want of a father never left me.  As a kid I would pretend that Robert Urich [movie star] was my father.  In the depths of my imagination I would create different scenarios of why my parents were not together.  Not sure how healthy that was but my pretend family in my head kept me from asking about my real father.

Mama died when I was 16 taking all the information of my father with her to her grave.  I learnt to accept the fact that I was a fatherless child.  I vowed that when I had children they would know who their father was.  I also vowed that if they wanted to know family information I would tell them if I knew and if I didn't know I would try to find it out for them.

Once I started to have grandchildren the wanting to know my "roots" crept to the surface.  I desired to provide a "normal" family tree for my grandchildren.  I was ashamed that when I would create my family tree, there were only leaves on one side of the pitiful tree and that word Bastard would haunt me. 

I had a computer with access to the vast information of the World Wide Web so I dove back in.  However at this time in my life I was not able to give up the money that the ancestry sites required.  I didn't have any friends at that time that (I knew) were into genealogy so I didn't know where to go or what to do.  After a few weeks of hitting the brick wall I pushed the wanting of a family tree to the deep recesses of my mind.  I refused to think about it.

Like most things that we don't deal with, they tend to make their presence known until we do deal with them.  

On and off for thirteen years I would dabble with my family tree.  Two years ago I was listening to my co-worker tell about her passion for genealogy.  As you guessed it, the buried desire for roots came to life.  This time I paid the fees for Ancestry.com and started the search again.  

With the guidance and encouragement of my co-worker/friend, I dove in.  Before I knew it I was finding more and more information in regards to my mama's heritage, being able to take it past what was written in her bible, that was an awesome feeling.

However my tree was still half dead with no leaves on the father's side.  I was finding a James Kinum, but was it the right one?  Long story somewhat shorter, last year, through Ancestry.com, Facebook (and through the grace of God) I was able to confirm that yes indeed I found my James Kinum. I even had the name of his parents.  My tree was starting to grow.

For a year I couldn't get past that point, until the day before yesterday.  A distant relative on the father's side contacted me through Ancestry.com and provided me with 106 pages of information on the Kinum family. 

In a moment, my tree started blossoming into a mid-spring, beautiful, lush, leaf filled tree.  (To God Be ALL the Glory, Amen Amen Amen!)

I know that these are just names on a piece of paper and that I will never get to "know" them.  But those names represent my pedigree.  (My Roots)

As I looked at my tree I started to cry, thanking God that I am no longer a bastard.  God told me, "Child, you have never been a bastard as I am Your Father and I have never left you!" <tears>

Wow, right!?!  That right there is truth.  For all of us with daddy issues not knowing who's our daddy - there is our answer.  ABBA FATHER is our daddy.  He loves us.  He desires us to be His children.  

To God Be ALL the Glory, Amen Amen Amen!

Call on your Father today as He is a prayer away.  Want a closer relationship with your Father go to that book that people write their family history in, the Bible, as your genealogy is right there.  Your history and your future are in one Book.  That is God's love letter to you and He desires you read it, study it and become closer to Him more than anything.

I want to leave you with words that I received this morning from the distant relative who contacted me...Your mother's comments to you remind me of the words of my late pastor: "There is no such thing as illegitimate children, only illegitimate parents!"

Isn't it wonderful that our Father in Heaven is our Legitimate Father?!?!  We never have to search for Him as He is always with us.  AMEN!

Until Next Time, God Bless!!!