Phony Facade

As I look at my Facebook profile and cover picture I just shake my head in disbelief of the phony facade that I am portraying.  Sure it is the holidays, sure my house looks festive…over the top festive even, and yes I am having moments here and there that have me excited and happy.  But the truth of the matter is that I am not.  There has not been a day this past week that I haven’t cried (sobbed) in loneliness and heartbreak.

I am a wife, mother of three, grandmother of six…about to be seven, I have lots of friends, I have a ministry that loves on lots and lots of folks.  I have people that smile when they see me and give me a hug telling me that they are glad they ran into me.   And yet I sit here in tears aching from the loneliness of the holidays.

I'm putting my foot down, I’m done being lonely!  I have family and yet I am alone during my favorite time of the year!  No need to explain the circumstances as too many others would be hurt if the situation changed so that I could have my family around me.  So we let it be.  Kids grow up, have family and plans...it is just how it is.

There are lots of folks that have invited me over for Christmas.  I have been adopted by several families.  Why do I need to be adopted?  I have family!  Why Papa, why?

I sat here crying out to Papa God, begging Him to heal my broken heart and to wipe my tears.  To help me not feel so lonely as I have Him.  Isn’t that enough?

He tells me that I am never alone and forsaken.  That He has plans for me.  That it is okay.  It gets better.  He tells me that I am tired and that I need to rest.  I hear him say...Rest in Me and let Me rejuvenate me.  Enjoy this time when it is just you and I, soak Me in.  It won’t always be this way, enjoy Me.  Soon there will be a time that you are surrounded with your earthly family…enjoy this alone time with Me.  I love you!

Okay…I am breathing now.  The tears are dried.  And I feel His overwhelming love! The loneliness has faded into the background.  The joy of the Lord is my strength!  AMEN!

I am reminded of my friend Charity’s drawing she drew yesterday in Church.  It is the picture above with this word she was given, “God goes before you, and He will never abandon you!  God is bringing family restoration to His church body, healing hearts and drawing the body together as a family.  He is also bringing restoration to individual families!!! Amen!”

I am standing on that word.  I am believing God for that promise!  Amen!

If you are alone this Christmas season (or everyday), please know that you are really never alone.  God loves you.  You don’t need to put on the phony façade.  Tell Him how you are feeling and He will make you feel better.  It might not be what you think will make you feel better, but it is better.  As He will give you Himself.  What more could we ask for?!?!

Until Next Time, God Bless!