Who am I?

Last night I was challenged to answer to the question "Who am I?" I have been meditating on that question since I opened my eyes this morning.  

As I ran down the different hats I wear in this life, the list became rather long...

I am a wife, mother and grandmother.

I am a writer and a sewist.

I am a minister, an evangelist and a teacher.

I am a woman who cares for the poor and destitute and will fight for the underdogs.  

I am a lover of people, all people as all life matters!

I am a hard worker, a baby sitter, a professional paper pusher, a fact finder, mediator, and other items I get paid to do at my job.

However all of those things are things I do and doesn't answer the question of who I am.  I had already gone through all of this when I was having my identity crisis last year when I wrote my article "Identity".  

None of that answered Who AM I?

As I was laying there meditating on that question as a visual came to mind of a song in which God spoke to me in church one Sunday during worship.  The lyrics just had me picturing a person unraveling...and words and visuals just kept popping into my head without structure so bear with me as I try to explain what I saw and felt.

During the worship song there was a line that we sang, “You unravel me with a melody you surround me with Your song…”

I saw a person that was unraveling at the foot like a sweater…

Words of the song were just floating through my mind:

Bye Bye Fear
Love has called my name
No longer a slave to fear
You split the seas so I could walk right through it
Fears drowned me in perfect love

Words became sentences that became visual and were given life:

Unravel me, flesh me is unraveling for the spirit man to thrive.  Chains that had us bound can’t hold on to our spirit man.  Once the flesh man is unraveled, fear that is woven into our being is unraveled; all negativity can’t stay with nothing to hang on to.  The chains, the fears, (anything not of God) just slides off as we continue to be unravel.   

Unravel me, flesh me is unraveling for the spirit man to thrive.  The Holy Spirit covers me like a blanket with the song of songs – God’s perfect melody.

The covering of God starts with praise, from the heart of the spirit, God’s melody brings so much of the Father’s love that fear and negativity are drowned out with His love.  Love has called my name…Love called ME.  God is LOVE…GOD called ME.  God LOVES ME!  

I am a child of God...I AM A CHILD OF GOD!

Yes, I am a child of God.  That is my answer!  I am a child of God, first and foremost.  Everything else about me is a result of who I am, I am a child of God.  I know who I am!  

Without God I am nothing but what I do.  I want an ACTS CHAPTER 2 life.  Without God, life is just a life of acts.  Without God, Joela is nothing.  With God, Joela is whatever He made her to be.  

I know that I was created on purpose for a purpose.  The desires that are woven into my DNA were put there by my Creator.  

He designed me to have the passions that I have and to live out those passions to the fullest.  

He designed me to be who I am.  

He designed me to be His child and know that He is my Father that loves me.  That is what I was created for. 

I am not being arrogant.  What I have is more than confidence, it is GODfidence.  I know who I am.  I am His child and He is my Abba Father, my Daddy, my Papa God.  He is a Good, Good Father, it is who He is.  Isn't that AWESOME?!?!

Knowing who I am and knowing Whom I belong to helps me build that relationship with Him so that I can grow in Him.  As I grow in Him I learn to be obedient to what He asks of me.  The more I am obedient, I discover more of what He has destined for me.  

It is an ever growing process, that will continue over my life on this earth.  Our lives are ever evolving as we continue through this life with God.  

By being a child of God, all the rest falls into place.  Isn't that great?!?!  How easy is that?  Being who we are, starts by knowing who we belong to. 

We are children of God!  He loves us, even with all our faults, HE LOVES US.

As I end this, I pray that you know Who you belong to and that you walk in His love and obedience.   I pray that you grow in Him and His plan for your life.  It is a pretty great life knowing that God loves you and that YOU ARE A CHILD OF GOD.

Until Next Time, God Bless!

Note:  Song referenced was by Bethel Music entitled, "No Longer Slaves".

Love and Majesty

From my writing desk the view out my window is inspiring and at times breathtaking.  This one particular morning I was looking with anticipation for the elk that pass behind our property near the abandoned pear orchard.  I was a little sad and yes, disappointed that they were not there.  Oh well I will keep looking for them as they are bound to show up.

My mind drifted and I remember that when we lived in Jacksonville, it was a common occurrence to have a doe and her fawn pass through the yard looking for food and a safe spot to bed.  When ever I saw the deer, my heart would flutter and I would get the warm fuzzies as I thought,  “Aww, look at the mama deer and her baby!”

Seeing the deer would take me to my childhood remembering how Grandma Renfro loved seeing the deer on her property. After her stoke she would ask to sit outside, behind the cabin in her wheel chair, so she could watch nature and wait for the deer.  

She would sit in anticipation of the deer paying her a visit. Without fail they would show up as if they knew she was waiting for them.  The deer could sense that she was of no harm to them and would feed within feet of her.  Giving her the loving memories that she cherished.

Again that was a loving, warm fuzzy feeling that is wonderful.  I love the deer and always look forward to seeing them. 

My mind then drifted to the first time at our current home that I looked up and saw the elk.  My heart pounded with excitement as I thought, “Wow, the elk are here, look how majestic those animals are!”  I was in complete awe over this huge animal. 

When I looked at the elk I didn’t get the warm fuzzies feelings I did with the mama and baby deer.  No, I was in awe stuck amazement of the elk and their presence.  Elk are gorgeous animals that demand respect.  The way they walked…was as if they were royalty.  They were not timid even though they were out of safety of the forest.  They behaved as if they belonged where ever they happen to be.  Wow how magnificent!

As I thought more about the different feelings I got from the two different critters within the deer family, I thought about the different feelings I get when I think about God.

I love God with all my heart.  There are times that as I think about how He loves me in spite of me, I get the warm fuzzies along with the tears of, “Aww God loves me, He really loves me!”  I love those feelings and I never want to lose them or take them (Him) for granted.

Then there are the feelings I get of God’s Majesty, I am in awe-struck-amazement of how great (and how Big) our God really is.  The Great I Am that I Am, the Creator of the Universe and everything in it, the One that loved us so much He sent the Son to save us from ourselves and sin, the One that deserves all the praise and glory just for being God! 

God is so loving how can we not love Him?

God is so GOoD how can we not honor Him? 

God is the Majestic Creator how can we not be in complete awe of Him?

There are many different aspects to God, too numerous to list at the moment.  However I pray that you take time each day, seek Him and let God reveal to you the aspect of Him that you need that day.

Until Next Time, God Bless!

Investing in Yourself

Before my lifestyle change I didn't give the GMO / Organic issues a thought. I only cared about what the cost was and if I was willing to pay the amount being asked for the product.

Now that I have learnt that what I put into my body is more than just about weight (loss vs gain) or even about eating healthy food vs junk food - I am becoming more aware of it.  

Your God-given body is meant to take in God-Given food for fuel. Our bodies were designed by our Creator to break down those foods. When we eat that maple bar or drink that soda our bodies are like, "I don't know what to do with this, I will just put it aside and deal with what I do know to break down." (*Gives a whole new visual to the old saying, "A moment on the lips, forever on hips!"...sorry I digress...)   

However when you eat the God-provided fruits, vegetables and *animals, your body does knows what to do with them, it knows how to break those down and use them to fuel itself. (*He instructed us in Leviticus 11 of the God-Approved Meat list)  

When we alter our food with chemicals and processing we are not doing ourselves or our bodies any good. Good health starts with good food (fuel).  We need to keep the food that we put into our God-given bodies as close to God-given for our bodies to run properly, be healthy.

In today's fast past society we want everything now and we look for faster ways to get it now.  We have fast food restaurants with drive thru service.   We have frozen food and processed food that is available in the name of convenience.  We have microwaves that heat our food in a portion of the time as cooking it on the stove.  Is it really healthy for us to eat food blasted with micro-waves?  

Convenience has taken away from the covenant we have with God.  Covenants are not convenient.  Do you think it was convenient for Christ to leave His throne to be born of a virgin, live like a fugitive, or die on the cross for our sins?  I should think not!  Why should the covenant be convenient for us?

In 1 Corinthians 6:19-20 the Bible tells us, "Or do you not know that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit Who is in you, whom you have from God, and you are not your own?  For you were bought at a price; therefore glorify God in you body and in your spirit, which are God's."

It is our responsibility to take care of our God-given bodies that He gave us to house our spirit and the Holy Spirit.  Not so we could eat crap and see how much damage we can do to it.  We were created on purpose for a purpose and our bodies need to sustain life so that we can accomplish that purpose.

God-given food is meant to fuel the God-given bodies to fulfill the God-given plan for our lives.

Our bodies are the receipt of what foods we eat. What deposits are you making? I truly pray that you (and I) invest the best possible foods that will have your (and my) body running top notch.  

Until Next Time, God Bless!!!

Encourage Yourself In Battle

January 23, 2016 – Day 245   Encourage Yourself in Battle

Today was a huge breakthrough…the weight is down to 222 pounds, dropping a grand total of 80 pounds.  <cry> 

It had been awhile since I took my measurements and thought it was time.  The numbers were so encouraging.  To me, it shows that I am doing what needs to be done!  I am still obese, but I am healthier than I have been in over a decade.  I may not be where I need to be, but thank God I am not where I used to be.  Amen.

All the praise and glory goes to God as none of this would have been possible without Him, AMEN!

Date	Weight	Age	Height	Arm	Neck	Chest	Waist	Hips	Thigh	Calf	BMI
05/23/15	302	49	65.5	20	21.5	54.5	54.5	54.75	32	19	49.5
08/21/15	260	49	65.5	17.7165	19	48	48.22	56.5	27.16	18.75	42.6
01/23/16	222	49	65.5	15.5	17	44.5	43	47.75	26	16.5	36.5

I have been in tears thanking God for the breakthrough.  Once I received the dream that exposed the plans of the enemy I have been mad, so mad that the determination has been kicked into overdrive.  Get behind me satan or I am going to bowl you over as I march on with purpose!

I have been keeping track of everything that goes into my mouth, whether it be food or beverage it gets counted.  Trying to avoid empty calories.  Sticking to God's instructions of, "No sugar, no wheat and no flour!"

I have been utilizing the Wii Fitness game as my current exercise regiment.  During the week on days that I have to work, I do 30 minutes of aerobics and then on my days off I try to do 60 to 90 minutes depending on time and if the Wii kicks my butt that day. 

Yesterday discovered that I love the rhythm boxing.  It is not only fun but it is an excellent cardio workout.  I find it ironic that the weight that I have lost is the weight of a heavy boxing bag. 

God told me that this journey is not about losing weight, it is breaking the bondage to food and helping others to break it too.  At the moment this food addict (no, food overcomer!) is still looking at food as more than fuel.  I may not want that dessert you are eating but I do struggle not helping myself to the nuts and healthy goodies laying around.   I need to break the hand to mouth habit.  

New goal: for food to be mere fuel and nothing more.  The long term goal is getting down to the preferred weight for my height and keeping it off.

This last month taught me that even the good food has more than a few calories and they can add up quickly if I am not careful.  I fell back into the old trap of the enemy of trying to comfort my sadness, depression, anger…with food.  Even though it was the God-Approved food for me, I was looking for comfort in what I ate. 

I had to stop and pray.  I had my pastors pray with/for me having unity (and pastoral coverage) with my prayers.  I also talked to my addiction counselor and spoke with a friend who has become my “healthy-check” accountability partner.  

I discovered that I allowed my sadness and depression to shift my mindset.  My focus went off of what I was supposed to be doing daily and was focusing on the circumstances in my life. 

I “Peter’d”.  I took my eyes off Jesus (and the plan) and focused on the storm that I was in the midst of.  What happened to Peter when he took his focus off Jesus…He SANKED! 

Which is what I did.  Not only did I sink into eating too much, I sank into comparing myself to others that caused anger, bitterness and offense, I sank into the depths of self pity, I took my mind off the plan and frankly I lost my way and my joy.  

What happens when you let your mind think negativity, it festers, it grows, and it creates more of the toxic thoughts that become a cancerous destruction.  The more you think it the more you believe it.  Believing a lie doesn’t make it true, it just means that you allowing yourself to be deceived by your own thoughts.

The bible states that the battle is in the mind.  Check out Romans 8:5; 1 Corinthians 2:16; 2 Corinthians 10:3-5; Ephesians 6:12 just to name a few.

Every morning right now I have to get up and recite…do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God. (Romans 12:2). 

Every day is a battle.  With the battle starting in my mind, I have to remind myself not to be conformed by the circumstances (or anything) that is not of God.  My verse that I am standing and believing on is Philippians 1:6, I have to remain and constantly remember to be, "…confident of this very thing, that He who has begun a good work in you will complete it until the day of Jesus Christ."  AMEN!

I have my (God-given) battle plan in hand.  I know what “I” need to do to not only break this bondage of food but conquer the enemy.  This past plateau was a pit.  Frankly it was a wake up call.  

This is not just one battle to take a hill on one particular day, this is a war to destroy the mountain that is on the path that is my life.  I have to destroy the enemy who took me as a P.O.W., throwing me in the pit.  My wake up call has reminded me that I have been rescued by my Savior Jesus.  I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me (Philippians 4:13).  If God is for me, who can be against?!?  

Christ was led into the wilderness to be tempted by the enemy.  As the father of all lies taunted (tempted) Him with “If You are really the Son of God…”  Jesus knew who He was, He didn’t need to defend His Son-ship or prove anything.  His response was speaking the word back to satan defeating him.  Which is what we are to do with the Sword of the Spirit (word of God) - crucial piece of our Full Armor of God.

I pray that what ever battle you are in, that you remember that you too are a child of the Father.  God has got you.  Pray for yourself.  Encourage yourself in the word.  Repeat God’s promises over and over.  Not only to remind yourself but to remind the enemy that you know who you are, you believe God’s promises and you are standing on them. 

Daily you must encourage yourself in battle.

Until Next Time, God Bless!

A Cry for Help

Addiction is not just being unable to say no to illegal substances; it is not being able to control yourself to whatever it is that you cannot do in moderation.  It doesn’t necessarily have to be a chemical addiction.  It doesn’t matter if it is gambling, sex, pornography, food, shopping, smoking, gaming, Facebook (etc) if you do it to the excess that you cannot control the urges, you have an addiction problem.

My friend you are looking at a recovering food addict.  I am not just a person who eats too much, this is something that I cannot control.  I don’t look at food as a means of survival, I see a taste that will take me to someplace dreamy, fun, happy, celebratory…it is all about emotions for me.  I crave those wonderful emotions that eating certain foods is tied to.

Food is the center of parties, celebrations and get-togethers.  Whether they are happy, sad or indifferent…let’s have food.  Let me cook you something to make you feel better.  Let me give you a cookie for getting that good mark on your paper.  Let me feed you so you don’t think about what is going on.  Let’s eat as we catch up on our lives….FOOD FOOD FOOD.  Food has become an acceptable drug as we all need to eat in order to survive. 

However, for us that have a problem saying no or even the sense of moderation…food is our drug.  Leaving that bag of chips out is like leaving a bag of dope out for a drug addict or leaving a bottle of booze out around an alcoholic. 

Being an addict is a day to day battle.  The battle begins in the mind and you have to start there.  You have to make the decision that you want a different lifestyle than the one you have been living.

You also need a plan of how you are going to get through it.  Just saying “I am not going to do that anymore” isn’t really a plan. 

You need to know what you are going to do when your addictive item (AI) is in your face saying “here I am, I am your friend.”  (When in fact it is your enemy).

You need to know what triggers you to want to turn to that AI.  What emotion are you trying to create or recreate?  What hole are you trying to fill?

What helps you to not think about it?  What keeps you from going there?

You need to know who to call to talk to that will hold your hand to keep you from falling (or jumping) off that wagon of sobriety.  An accountability partner is only for support, as it is YOUR RECOVERY.

You need to know that you have to actively participate in YOUR RECOVERY.  Until you are willing to do the work is necessary, you will not succeed in breaking the bondage that you are bound in.

God is my main “Go-To” when I am struggling.  I do have my counselor and she provides me sound advice as I work through my days.  I also have friends that are great source of “You got this girl!”   You are not alone and don’t have to take this on as if you were the only one going through it.

I pray that if you have an addiction that you realize that you have a serious problem, you need help.  Never be afraid (or ashamed) to cry for help.

Turn to God, turn to someone who has been there, turn to the professionals that are trained to help you through it.    Do what you got to do to turn away from that destructive lifestyle. 

Until Next Time, God Bless!!

Shelter In The Storms

As I sit in my cold house bundled up like an Eskimo, my heart can't help but go to those that do not have a place to call home much less shelter...not only shelter from the elements but life's storms that happen. Storms happen in all our lives. Rich, poor, beautiful, ugly, fat, skinny...Storms are not discriminate.

Those of us that have Christ have the One to lean on, to leave our burdens at His feet...our job is to be strong to leave them there, not picking them back up again...to try to fix ourselves. Lord, give us the strength to leave it with You as You have got it under control!

What about those that don't know Him? What do they do? Who or what do they turn to? Drugs? Alcohol? Food? Violence because they don't have anyone to listen to them until it just boils out of them in rage?

Those of us that do know Christ we have an obligation to tell everyone we meet about Him. Not only did Jesus command it in the Great Commission, but wouldn't you want to tell everyone about how Great HE IS? How He loved you in spite of you? How He delivered you from the bondage that had you in the deepest pit? How your life was so bad that you wanted to die and He saved you from despair?

You would have to hate someone not to share the Good News with them. Everyone deserves a chance to find out about the One that gave His life for their sakes.

If you don't have the courage to start out with a simple, "Jesus loves you." Then how about fulfilling a need you see with your natural eyes.

There are homeless in every community whether you choose to see them or not - more than we care to admit. They need you to share the love of Christ. They need you to share some of you. They don't need your judgment of why they are there. They need your love.

As Christians we are to be CHRIST-LIKE. He wouldn't walk past them. He would feed them, cloth them and show them the love of the Father.

Imagine how great this world would be, if each of us helped just one person. There would be no want in this life.

I was asked, "What do you want for Christmas?"  Well if you ask my husband he will tell you that I want a new couch that I don't sink to the floor on. However my true Christmas wish doesn't cost a dime. My Christmas wish is for everyone to know and love Jesus. He is the Gift that keeps on giving.

Let's all give Jesus for Christmas. It is the celebration of His birth and I know that is the gift that He wants. Share Him and leave no one out. Storms come and storms go, but our Lord remains the same...in love with all of us.   He is our shelter in/out of the storms.  Seek/Share Him today and always.

Until Next Time, God Bless and Merry CHRISTmas.

Isaiah 58:2-12 (AMP)

2
“Yet they seek Me day by day and delight [superficially] to know My ways,
As [if they were in reality] a nation that has done righteousness
And has not abandoned (turned away from) the ordinance of their God.
They ask of Me righteous judgments,
They delight in the nearness of God.
3
‘Why have we fasted,’ they say, ‘and You do not see it?
Why have we humbled ourselves and You do not notice?’
Hear this [O Israel], on the day of your fast [when you should be grieving for your sins] you find something you desire [to do],
And you force your hired servants to work [instead of stopping all work, as the law teaches].
4
“The facts are that you fast only for strife and brawling and to strike with the fist of wickedness.
You do not fast as you do today to make your voice heard on high.
5
“Is a fast such as this what I have chosen, a day for a man to humble himself [with sorrow in his soul]?
Is it only to bow down his head like a reed
And to make sackcloth and ashes as a bed [pretending to have a repentant heart]?
Do you call this a fast and a day pleasing to the Lord?
6
“[Rather] is this not the fast which I choose,
To undo the bonds of wickedness,
To tear to pieces the ropes of the yoke,
To let the oppressed go free
And break apart every [enslaving] yoke?
7
“Is it not to divide your bread with the hungry
And bring the homeless poor into the house;
When you see the naked, that you cover him,
And not to hide yourself from [the needs of] your own flesh and blood?
8
“Then your light will break out like the dawn,
And your healing (restoration, new life) will quickly spring forth;
Your righteousness will go before you [leading you to peace and prosperity],
The glory of the Lord will be your rear guard.
9
“Then you will call, and the Lord will answer;
You will cry for help, and He will say, ‘Here I am.’
If you take away from your midst the yoke [of oppression],
The finger pointed in scorn [toward the oppressed or the godly], and [every form of] wicked (sinful, unjust) speech,
10
And if you offer yourself to [assist] the hungry
And satisfy the [a]need of the afflicted,
Then your light will rise in darkness
And your gloom will become like midday.
11
“And the Lord will continually guide you,
And satisfy your soul in scorched and dry places,
And give strength to your bones;
And you will be like a watered garden,
And like a spring of water whose waters do not fail.
12
“And your people will rebuild the ancient ruins;
You will raise up and restore the age-old foundations [of buildings that have been laid waste];
You will be called Repairer of the Breach,
Restorer of Streets [b]with Dwellings.

Why?

We are in the middle of my most favorite time of the year.  It is the time that the 5 year old in me keeps the child like wonder alive within me and hopefully those that come into contact with me.  I love giving and this is the season that not only promotes giving, it is highly encouraged.  I kind of live by the verse, “It is more blessed to give than to receive.”  We are in my season!

Then why am I so sad?  For the first time in years, I have family coming for Christmas.  I am so excited that my cousin who is more like my sister is coming to stay with me during my loneliest time of the year.  I am downright Joela Joyful over her coming.  I have plans for lots of fun with my “seester”.  Then why am I sad?

Lord, I have so much going for me, but I am sad.  Why?  Why God, why? 

Lately that has been the question I have been asking Him…why?  I have NEVER in my life questioned God and to why things happen.  In my mind that would just be rude.  However this week, that “why” has been asked more times than I care to admit.

Why am I so far away from family?

Why do I have to be so isolated from my kids?  Why can’t I be there for them?

Why can’t I see my grandchildren?  Why are they growing up without me?

Why can’t everyone live closer? Why do I only get to see them for a few hours a year?

Why do I hurt so much when I see them experiencing life without me?

Why are people leaving me?  Why do I feel so abandoned? 

Why do I feel so left out?

WHY?

I have never questioned why I have been relocated.  I do believe that God moved me to another state to get me away from the distractions that kept me in a rut, stagnate.  I enjoyed that life.  I had gotten too comfortable doing the same ol same ol, that I needed the uprooting and being transplanted away from everyone that I love.  He removed me from the family that I focused on for Him to get my attention. 

Ok God, here I am.  You have my attention God, You have me Lord.  What are we going to do today?  Who are we going to bless today?  I love You so much Lord, tell me what You want me to do…but God, why do I hurt so much?  WHY? 

Do you ask Him why?  I have been told that He likes us to ask Him that.  I personally have never liked asking Him, “why”. 

I never liked it when my children did the “why” game with me.  You know where you tell them to do something and every word that comes out of their mouth is, “why”?  I always considered it disrespectful to question your parents.  At least that is what my elders taught me.

God is my Father, why would He want me to ask Him, “WHY?”  Isn’t that me questioning the Great I Am, that I Am who is Omniscient? 

All I keep hearing in my head is my mama (and then me to my children), answering with, “Because I the parent, told you the child to do so!”

As I am studying the book of Revelation, I see that (over and over again) John is asking Jesus, “Why”.  However Jesus didn’t get upset when John asked, “why?” – He was patient and explained to John, the why.  Jesus led John to a deeper understanding of the why. 

Wow God, You mean I can ask You why and You won’t think me disrespectful?  I am in such awe of You Lord, that You love me so much (even in spite of ME!) that it is okay for me to ask why?  I knew that You want us to ask questions about You to learn more about You but why would me asking You “why” be okay?

This morning as I sat here asking the “why” I felt His loving embrace.  My answer didn’t come in the form of words this time.  I just felt Him loving on me.  He wasn’t mad that I asked the why question.  He just comforted me as my Father, the God of all Comfort.  He loves me!

Which I will be honest with you, was exactly what I needed.  The feeling alone and unloved left immediately.  Words would not have consoled me the way His loving embrace did.  He is a Good, Good Father…it is who He is!

I pray that your “why God” questions are answered in the manner that speaks volumes.

Until Next Time, God Bless!