For many, many years I struggled in the
word. I struggled to understand the words that I read. I knew that
there was more to the Bible than it being a history book with great stories of
our kingdom heritage but truthfully I never got any more out of it than just
that. I would read the stories of the different characters but I didn’t
know how they all related to me. It was when I tried to study the word to
understand what biblical scholars got out of it is where I really
struggled. I was frustrated in my lack of growth.
As believers in order for us to grow in God our
spirit man needs to grow. That growth comes from being rooted in the word and
having a close relationship with our Lord through praise, worship and prayer.
For the longest time my spirit man was stunted
to the size of a newborn, no growth, no true life. My life didn’t show
the fruit that preachers talked about. I was one of those miserable Christians
that enemy rejoiced over. I spoke negativity bringing more negativity
down on myself. I claimed the illnesses that the enemy dumped on me
as if they were something to be proud of. I was angry and so mean
tempered that I was the furthest thing from being Christ like!
When I joined my current church back in late
2010 I was still struggling and in the beginning of 2011 I confessed at our
women’s ministry group to my pastor that I didn’t know how to read the
Bible.
I had bought books upon books on “how” to read
the Bible, with no success. I begged people to teach me how to read the
bible, disappointed that I couldn’t get a one on one lessons from anyone.
I joined Bible Study groups that would have me dropping out after the second class
because I felt so stupid that I couldn’t do “any” of the homework. I
would pray and pray for God to help me gain knowledge of His word and all that
would happen is that I would end up in the fetal position in tears giving
up. Not only did I not study my Bible, I avoided opening my Bible.
My pastor approached me one Sunday telling me,
“Joela you have such a passion for children you should be a teacher in the
children’s church.” Up went my hands as I took a step back stating,
“Sorry pastor but you got the wrong girl, I don’t know the Bible I can’t teach.”
Truth be known, I tried teaching Sunday School before and I truly felt that my lack of “knowledge” was cheating the
young Disciples of Christ that were put in my charge. It wasn’t fair to
them to be stuck with a teacher that couldn’t even teach herself.
I want you to know right here and now, that if
God wants you to do something He is not going to let you throw up your hands
and step back when He sent that man to ask you to do something for His
kingdom. (Especially when it was in my heart to teach them and “I” was
the one disqualifying “myself”.)
It wasn’t long before I said yes I would be a
teacher to help out. I was teaching the kids, getting by with the bare
minimum. The curriculum did all the work so I was able to volunteer and
be somewhat of a teacher to them kids. (Looking back it was out of
heart of duty rather than a giving heart. I wanted to play with the kids
and teach them things I knew about, like crafts – not as a Sunday School
teacher.)
As time went on I was introduced to different
television evangelist that I would watch in between my attending church on
Sundays. I was getting teachings from several different sources.
What I missed on this teacher, I would pick up on a different teacher.
These men and women of God would be assisting my pastors in teaching me the
word. Where I had prayed for one on one lessons, I was getting even more
than I asked for as I getting personalize lessons from several teachers.
(Funny part is that I didn’t even realize that until yesterday!)
Slowly I was I getting more and more out of the
word through others teachings. In the beginning of 2013 I had stepped up in a probationary
leadership role in the children’s church. I remember the day that I was
going over the curriculum that we were to have on the 10 commandments and I was
looking on line for additional lessons on it. The stuff I found was
either not in line with the word of God or it was highly inappropriate for me
to teach other folk’s children. I went to God asking His help on the
lesson and dove into the word. Next thing I knew I had wrote a sermon /
lesson.
That fire sparked and before I knew what had
happened, God was answering my prayers loud and clear. As I would study
the word to write the lesson for the children, God was teaching me what He
needed me to know in my life.
Before I would study I would pray. This
time I wasn’t trying to teach myself to prove I wasn’t stupid. This time
my prayers weren’t self-centered prayers about ME ME ME for My knowledge like
before. This time my prayers were heartfelt sincere prayers about knowing
Him, His Son, His Spirit and His word. Asking Him to show me, not only
what He wanted me to know, but also what He wanted me to teach the children.
I’ve come a long way however I know that I have
a long, long way to go. I truly believe that even if you know the Bible
from cover to cover there is still more for God to show you. We can never
stop reading His word and having a relationship with Him. We never stop
growing in Him.
With that being said I want to tell you that the
enemy was thrilled with my Bible avoiding days. He loved the fact that I
didn’t know that I had authority over him. He said amen every time I
opened my mouth speaking negativity over my life. He loved me not opening
my bible and not understanding that he had me in bondage. If I truly
understood then what I understand now I wouldn’t have let the enemy get the
upper hand over me.
My pastor recently taught us this simple formula
of studying the word:
Understanding + Retainage + Application =
Fruitfulness
We need to understand the word, we need retain
the word, and we need to apply the word into our daily lives for us to have
fruitful lives.
My pastor also taught us the goals of enemy in
regards to us getting into the word
- The enemy wants to prevent us from getting access to the word.
- The enemy wants to prevent us from understanding the word.
- The enemy wants to prevent us from retaining of what we do understand.
- The enemy wants to prevent us from applying the word to our lives.
Back in the day, I had access to the word as a
matter of fact I have never been without a Bible sitting on the coffee table or
my night stand. It was there gathering dust as my spirit was dying of
malnutrition needing to be put on life support – as satan was preparing to
dance a jig on my grave. I thank God that He sent me teachers that saved my
spirit man from the demise the devil was so anxiously anticipating. Now I
am able to teach others the word as I am growing in the word of the kingdom of
God. To God Be All The Glory!
Is your spirit man on life support or in a state
of stunted growth like mine was? Please don’t fall into the same traps of
the enemy that I did. Pray and if your prayers aren’t working, change
your prayers. Contact your church leader for guidance. Don’t
give up. You are not stupid. You are a child of God and need to
grow in Him and His word.
Also please understand this truth. The
Bible is a Spirit Filled book, written with the inspiration from the Holy
Spirit. Just reading the Bible will be like reading a history book.
To dig deep and study the word, you need the Spiritual guidance of the Holy
Spirit. Let Him be your Source, your Study partner. Let Him show
Himself in the word and let Him teach you what He needs you to know in this
season.
I pray that your growth in God surpasses
anything that you have ever dreamt of or even tried to imagine!
Until next time, God Bless!
