Phony Facade

As I look at my Facebook profile and cover picture I just shake my head in disbelief of the phony facade that I am portraying.  Sure it is the holidays, sure my house looks festive…over the top festive even, and yes I am having moments here and there that have me excited and happy.  But the truth of the matter is that I am not.  There has not been a day this past week that I haven’t cried (sobbed) in loneliness and heartbreak.

I am a wife, mother of three, grandmother of six…about to be seven, I have lots of friends, I have a ministry that loves on lots and lots of folks.  I have people that smile when they see me and give me a hug telling me that they are glad they ran into me.   And yet I sit here in tears aching from the loneliness of the holidays.

I'm putting my foot down, I’m done being lonely!  I have family and yet I am alone during my favorite time of the year!  No need to explain the circumstances as too many others would be hurt if the situation changed so that I could have my family around me.  So we let it be.  Kids grow up, have family and plans...it is just how it is.

There are lots of folks that have invited me over for Christmas.  I have been adopted by several families.  Why do I need to be adopted?  I have family!  Why Papa, why?

I sat here crying out to Papa God, begging Him to heal my broken heart and to wipe my tears.  To help me not feel so lonely as I have Him.  Isn’t that enough?

He tells me that I am never alone and forsaken.  That He has plans for me.  That it is okay.  It gets better.  He tells me that I am tired and that I need to rest.  I hear him say...Rest in Me and let Me rejuvenate me.  Enjoy this time when it is just you and I, soak Me in.  It won’t always be this way, enjoy Me.  Soon there will be a time that you are surrounded with your earthly family…enjoy this alone time with Me.  I love you!

Okay…I am breathing now.  The tears are dried.  And I feel His overwhelming love! The loneliness has faded into the background.  The joy of the Lord is my strength!  AMEN!

I am reminded of my friend Charity’s drawing she drew yesterday in Church.  It is the picture above with this word she was given, “God goes before you, and He will never abandon you!  God is bringing family restoration to His church body, healing hearts and drawing the body together as a family.  He is also bringing restoration to individual families!!! Amen!”

I am standing on that word.  I am believing God for that promise!  Amen!

If you are alone this Christmas season (or everyday), please know that you are really never alone.  God loves you.  You don’t need to put on the phony façade.  Tell Him how you are feeling and He will make you feel better.  It might not be what you think will make you feel better, but it is better.  As He will give you Himself.  What more could we ask for?!?!

Until Next Time, God Bless!

Hunt for the One

Every year I have a Christmas luncheon for the ladies in my life.  Celebrating our love and friendship as we celebrate the birth of our Savior Jesus Christ.  My favorite part of the luncheon is the ornament exchange game.  I love that game!  The only time that stealing is allowed and really encouraged.  Lots of fun.  

What is even more fun for me than my favorite party game is the hunt for the perfect ornament.  I start looking for the "ONE" in October when the stores first start displaying Christmas decorations.  

It is all about the hunt for the one.  The one that everyone wants.  The one that will be stolen in great fun.  

I hit all the craft fairs and expos searching for the one.  I hit all the stores and even venture into the mall.  I am not a mall person so you know that finding the one is important to me.  Until I find it, I don't stop shopping for it.  I buy back ups, but until the one is found...I keep hunting and searching.

This year was no different except that the luncheon was in less than a week and I hadn't found the one.  I had lots of ornaments to give out at the party but I hadn't found the one that would be mine for the game.

It was Tuesday before my party, running out of time I went to the mall.  I don't like using my lunch hour during the holidays to shop the mall.  It is crowded and I will be in a hurry to get back to work in time.  

I started with JCPennys they had some good contenders but not the one.  Next was Macy's Home Store.  They had some that I really liked for individuals, but not the one for my party.  For the first time going to Bed, Bath and Beyond I was highly disenchanted with their Christmas selection.  Moving on.  I went to Evangel, if for nothing else I needed a gift for a dear friend.

As I was perusing the tree, I found some nice ones.  Some that could be the one, but it was not obvious.  At the back of the tree I saw a pretty blue ornament with holly leaves on it, with a Dr. Suess type hanger on it.  Very cute.  I felt a strong urge to take a closer look at this cute Dr. Suess-esque type feel to it.  As I turned it around I read the front, "Christmas is not about the presents, it's about His Presence."  

THAT'S IT!  THAT IS THE ONE!  I HAVE FOUND THE ONE!!!  

The cute ball that I really wasn't really giving a second thought to, turned out to be the perfect one, the one that I had been hunting for.  The search was over I had found for what I was searching for.

Even though my party is over and the ornament has a new home with a family that I dearly love, I can't stop thinking about it.  In particular the hunt for it.  

You see life is like my ornament hunt.  We all are searching for something, someone.  We have a deep, deep desire to find it.  We may not know what it is, but we know that it is out there.  We can feel it calling us, deep to deep.  Drawing us out of where ever we are to find it.

We all were created to be in relationship with God.  We are searching for Him even if we don't know it.  He is calling us.  Those times that we can't sleep at 2:00 in the morning, He wants to talk.  He wants to love on us.  He wants US!  

He is our One that we are searching for.  He is the One that we need.  He is the Hole in our lives that we are trying to fill.  

Oh, we try to fill that hole with the might-be's.  Nothing is quite right, we are still searching.  

Maybe this person is the one.  

Maybe this drug is the one.  

Maybe I will find the one in the bottom of this bottle.  

How about...nope keep searching.

We will try to shove that square peg into that round hole until we find the one to fill that hole.  Nope that doesn't fit right, keep looking.  Keep searching.

However there is only One that is meant to fill our hole.  His name is Jesus.  He is what we all are searching for.  He is the One!  

I pray that if you are on the hunt for the One, the search is over.  He is here for you.  His arms are outstretched to welcome you home.  All you need to do is ask Him.  

"Father God, I have recognized that I am a sinner.  I repent of all my sins.  I confess with my mouth, that Jesus Christ is my Lord and my Savior.  Jesus come into my heart, AMEN, AMEN, AMEN!!!"

I love you.  Welcome to the Royal Family of God.  We now are on a new hunt.  We are now searching for those that are lost.  Bringing them back to the One they are seeking.  

Until Next Time, God Bless!!!

Here is a picture of the front of the "one" ornament.