Waking Up

As I woke up this morning my heart ached as I realized that today is not only Resurrection Sunday but it also April Fool's Day.  Even 37 years later I still hurt as I did when I was 16 years old.  April 1st, 1981 my mama was taken to the hospital in a coma to die 10 days later on Resurrection Sunday.  

Both days have always been hard for me.  How ironic that they are both sharing the same day on the calendar this year.  

I didn't wait to get out of bed before I asked God what it was like when she opened her eyes and saw Heaven.  Before He could show me anything, I asked Him what it was like for Jesus waking up from being crucified.  Next thing you know I am asking question after question like a toddler who is seeking to learn new things.  When I get excited I not only talk a lot but I also speak really fast.

What I saw was my Father smiling at me waiting for me to take a breath.  That sight warmed my heart.  He looked at me with such patience and so lovingly that I shut up, soaking that in. 

As a parent I know that even though my children are adults, they are still my babies.  I love them like no other.  It is hard for me not to still see them as 2, 3, and 5 years old.  

I like to think that is the same way with Papa God over me.  He doesn't see the 52 year old lady, He sees His little girl who needs His love, patience and all the guidance that she can get.

Life has been hard lately.  We have had a lot of deaths in our circle of family and friends in the last couple years that I have felt my joy slip further and further away.  I am so tired of my heart being bruised and broken...<breathe>  I found myself speaking the words, "Daddy here is my broken heart, fix it please."

Next thing I knew I was opening my eyes and I saw His face close up to mine.  I felt like I was a newborn baby opening their eyes for the first time and having their parents looking at them with such fullness of joy.

I flashed on the moment of Creation when God breathed life into Adam.  When He opened His eyes and seeing the face of the Father and said, "Abba."  

Peace engulfed me as I saw my mama opening her eyes and seeing the face of the Father.  How awesome is that thought?!?!

You close your eyes on earth and open them in Heaven with the Father looking back filled with such emotions that He is overwhelmed by the love He feels for you.  He doesn't even have to tell you that He loves you as you can see it as plain as if He spoke the words.  His heart is full of joy because you are His child.  You didn't even have to do anything to earn His love, He just loves you.

Then I heard in my spirit, "Child, every time you open your eyes I am right here waiting for your eyes to focus on Me. I am here, I never leave.  Open your eyes, I am here."

After my warm fuzzy moment with Papa, it dawned on me why I love mornings. I get to wake up to Him.  I get to climb up in His lap telling Him, "Good morning daddy, where are we going today, who are we going to love on today, who are we going to bless, how, what, when..."  

I don't have to wait for Heaven, I get to wake up to the Father's face every morning.  His love surrounds me as I go about life.  Waking up just got even more exciting for me!

I pray that you enjoy waking up to His face too, knowing that He loves you like no other.

Until Next Time, God Bless!