Thursday, June 14, 2018

Slow Down, Be in the Present, and Enjoy the Process


We live in a fast-paced society, so fast that we have more things to do in less time to do them.  Maybe not all of us but I sure feel that way.  There are days that I am so overwhelmed that I have to be told to breathe.  How does that happen?  How does one forget to breathe?!? 

I know as we get older time seems to be going faster than we care to admit.  Personally, this last year has been a blur.  I have been overfilling my calendar so much so that there were days that I was not only double booked, I was triple booked…ouch! 

I am an overachieving perfectionist that has (more than) a lot that I want to accomplish in my life.  I don’t want to live to be forgotten.  I want to leave a legacy to my children and grandchildren.  I want to be known for more than being a nice lady.  

However, when you are just going and going like the Energizer Bunny life will catch up to you and when it does you are going to find out exactly how much time you have wasted trying to do everything all at once.  Not to mention while you are trying to do it all, there is the “Life Happens” that is taking place around you. 

We have family and friends that have died.  We have family that my heart longs to see but are scattered about the country that require time and money to go see…I get panic stricken with just the thought on choosing whom I should go see…first.  UGH, the pressure of picking one family member over another! <breathe>    

There is stress at work, there is stress at home, there is stress in general everyday life and I just kept adding things to add more stress.    

You know what happens when you don’t have proper self-care?  You get depression and anxiety mixed together with an unhealthy dose of sadness.  That has been my life for longer than I care to think about.  As a child of God, I took my concerns to Papa God.

It has been a slow process however He has been ministering to me.  (*Why do we freak out when He doesn’t answer our prayers overnight?  It took a good long time to get where we are, it is going to take time to get back to where we need to be. We need to let Him minister to us at the pace that WE need Him to.  Our wounds need time to heal.  Amen?  Amen!)

This season God wants me to focus on the good…He said that those that have passed are with Him, they are happy and whole.  He wants me to be happy for them and quit focusing on my sadness that they aren’t with me anymore. 

I am not to focus on those loved ones I don’t get to see, I am to give those I am seeing all my love and attention.  Be in the moment with them and enjoy our time together.  Look them in the eyes when they are talking to me.  I am not to worry about what I am not getting done, but really give that person my full attention.  When we love people, we value them and their time! 

He has also shown me is that I need to start creating again.  When a creative doesn’t create they get depressed.  I have been doing as much as I can on my time off that I have been hurrying to get “this” done so I can work on “that” to get it done, and then to get the “other” completed…endless hamster wheel of self induced stress.

My body has been taking the brunt of all this stress.  On Sundays after church and the family meal, I crash.  I am a lump on some piece of furniture wondering if it is bedtime yet.  Just to jump back on the wheel getting it going again the following morning that starts the week. 

When I am on the proverbial hamster wheel I feel like I am just going through the motions.  I am not enjoying anything that I am doing, just working on them as fast as I can to get them completed so that I can work on the next thing.  Even doing something that I normally enjoy doing, I am just doing it to get it done and off the to-do list, it becomes a chore.  There is no joy when you work (or create) like that.

I asked God what does my next season look like?  The answer I got was to…slow down, live in the present and enjoy the process.  Get off the hamster wheel and live intentionally! 

I call myself a fabric artist and I haven’t given myself time to create art with fabric.  Even if I am not working on an art piece I have a ton of UFO (Un-Finished Objects) Quilts that are screaming to be completed…imagine what all I could complete if I actually gave myself permission to intentionally work on them?  The thought of actually enjoying the process of creating something beautiful with fabric has the excitement bubbling up in me. 

To help me start me off on the road to new habits and start my creative selfcare, I am going to set aside 30 minutes each day to create.  Not just create, but really tune into what I am doing.  Not thinking about what I need to check off my to do list or what chore is waiting for me but, totally focus on what I am working on.  This could be any activity that gives you joy. 

This morning I am writing this article.  I am noticing my breathing and heartbeat… I am paying attention to my fingers hitting the keyboard...clickity click click click.  I am listening to the worship music that is softly playing…and I also hear the quiet of morning that sets it apart from the evening. I feel the soft breeze coming through the open window.  I smell my coffee and the diffusor oil that is wafting through the air.  I am watching the words slowly manifest across the document.  I notice there is a rhythm of the morning that is filled with comfort and peace. 

I am not stressing about finishing the article by an imaginary deadline that I have put on myself.  I am enjoying the process of letting the thoughts flow onto the page.  There is a timer set so that I don’t get lost in my creative time as I still have to go about my normal day. 

I am making sure that as a creative I am getting my creative time in.  Shaking off the depression, not letting anxiety rise up.  Sadness has no place when the choice is joy.

Imagine if you will, if we took the time to enjoy everything that we do.  We wouldn’t have to stop and remember to lower our bucket down in our joy well as we would constantly be drinking it in…

Until next time, God Bless!

No comments:

Post a Comment